What is a Healthy Meeting?

Al‑Anon and Alateen membership is open to anyone who feels his or her life has been affected by someone else’s drinking, either currently or in the past.  In keeping with Tradition Three, all family members and friends of problem drinkers are welcome to attend Al‑Anon meetings in order to decide for themselves whether Al‑Anon can benefit them.  New members are encouraged to attend different meetings, to find groups where they feel most comfortable. (1p. 37)  Al‑Anon membership is never been contingent on any set of behavioral or moral standards beyond those founded on common sense, courtesy and the timeless values of kindness, tolerance and love. (2Safety in Al-Anon Meetings)

Sharing in Al‑Anon / Alateen Meetings

In group meetings, we share our own experience, strength, and hope, keeping the focus on ourselves and how the Al‑Anon/Alateen program has helped us change our attitudes and actions. Our discussions center on solutions for our own difficulties.  We try not to tell other people’s stories or repeat what we see or hear, always protecting one another’s anonymity and the anonymity of Al‑Anon, Alateen, and A.A. members, as well.

We concentrate on our own feelings and attitudes, rather than on the details of our situation. Members leave other affiliations (such as other Twelve Step programs or professional resources) outside our meetings. (1p. 37)

Anonymity at Meetings

The principle of anonymity is essential during meetings to assure the confidentiality of those who are present and what is shared at the meetings. As time progresses, some members decide to let their membership in Al‑Anon be known to professionals in the community so others can receive Al‑Anon’s help.  Each member chooses when and why he or she lets others outside their meeting know he or she is attending Al‑Anon.  The principle of anonymity encourages each member to respect the reasons for this personal decision and make no judgments about them. (1pp. 38-39)

Al‑Anon Personal Sponsors

Sponsorship is a mutual and confidential sharing between two Al-Anon members. Experience shows that having a Sponsor is a valuable aid to personal understanding and use of the Al-Anon program of recovery. Sponsors provide guidance; however, Sponsors do not direct or give advice. The choice of a Sponsor is a personal one.

The act of asking someone to be a Sponsor is part of one’s personal recovery, and most members ask someone they relate to, who “has what they want,” to be their Sponsor.  Many members share that they listen to members share at meetings for a period of time before asking someone for help.  Al-Anon is a program of “attraction rather than promotion.”  As an alternative, some meetings offer announcements of members willing to be temporary Sponsors. (1p. 45)

Resolving Group Problems

Al‑Anon and Alateen members expect a safe and pleasant environment when they attend a meeting, and when one member causes unrest due to inappropriate or intimidating behavior, the entire group could be affected.  Groups are within their autonomy to establish group behavioral guidelines in a manner that reflects their group conscience and abides by the Traditions, as long as they do not impact another group, Al‑Anon, or A.A. as a whole.

When the behavior of any member impacts the group, members apply the Traditions to the problem, and determine how best to approach the individual(s) involved, to ask the member to change the behavior in question.  This can be an exercise in applying Al‑Anon principles so that the message is not a personal attack, but rather a request based on what is best for the Al‑Anon group. (1pp. 49-50)

The “Three Obstacles to Success in Al‑Anon” are: discussion of religion, gossip, and dominance. (1p. 20)

  • Discussions of Religion: Al‑Anon is not allied with any sect or denomination.  It is a spiritual program, based on no particular form of religion. Everyone is welcome, no matter what affiliation or none. Let us not defeat our purpose by entering into discussions concerning specific religious beliefs.
  • Gossip: We meet to help ourselves and others learn and use the Al‑Anon philosophy.  In such groups, gossip can have no part. We do not discuss members or others, and particularly not the alcoholic.  Our dedication to anonymity gives people confidence in Al‑Anon.  Careless repeating of matters heard at meetings can defeat the very purposes for which we are joined together.
  • Dominance: Our leaders are trusted servants; they do not govern.  No member of Al‑Anon should direct, assume authority, or give advice.  Our program is based on suggestion, interchange of experience, and rotation of leadership.  We progress in our own way and pace.  Any attempt to manage or direct is likely to have disastrous consequences for group harmony.

Another helpful tool is conducting a Group Inventory.  When we participate in a group inventory, we are able to practice using the tools we’ve learned in the Al‑Anon program that help us communicate clearly, and not shrink away from our responsibility as a group member.  We are encouraged to share ideas, even if they’re not the most popular.  We are able to feel like a part of, rather than apart from, the group.  Knowing the group takes an inventory at regular intervals assures us we are able to welcome newcomers to a healthy, growing group, and “Together We Can Make It.” (3G-8a/G-8b)

Safety in Meetings

Safety is an important issue within Al‑Anon—one that all can address.  Open discussion on the topic can aid groups in developing workable solutions to safety issues—solutions that are based on the fundamental principles of our fellowship and that will help keep our meetings safe.

Situations that groups have addressed through their group consciences include: sexual harassment or stalking; threats of violence; bullying; high‑pressure controlling behavior; financial coercion; racial intolerance; sexual orientation or gender identification intolerance; and dominance that pressures Al‑Anon members to accept a particular point of view or belief regarding medical treatments and/or medications, politics, religion, or other outside issues.  In addition, there may be other behaviors that go on outside of typical meeting times that affect whether someone feels safe enough to return to the group.

Victims of inappropriate behavior, harassment or predators can let the group know about such situations, often through a Sponsor or trusted friend.  This way the group is informed, and members can help address the situation and curtail further problems.  Group discussion should focus on how to create an environment where all family members and friends of alcoholics can find and maintain serenity.  (2SIAM)

If the problem persists, then members are encouraged to report the issue using the following email address for resolving group and member concerns: groupandmemberconcerns@scws-al-anon.org (4/5RGMC)

Those facing violent or potentially life‑threatening situations should call 911 or contact your local police department for assistance.

For Alateen safety, please refer to the Southern California Area Alateen Safety and Behavioral Requirements. 

Sources:

  1. 2022-2025 Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual, (WSO Manual P-24/27, accd 03/10/2025)
  2. Let’s Talk About Safety in Al-Anon Meetings, (WSO Handout, N/A, accd 03/10/2025)
  3. Taking a Group Inventory, (WSO Guidline, G-8a/G-8b, accd 03/10/2025)
  4. Resolving Group and Member Concerns, (SCWS Slides, N/A, accd 03/10/2025)
  5. Resolving Group and Member Concerns, (SCWS Policy, N/A, accd 03/30/2025)
  6. Alateen Safety and Behavioral Requirements, (SCWS Booklet, N/A, accd 03/10/2025)